The Transcript of The Interview

Mark Harbert
All right, we are live what's happening everybody excited to be here. And it's always a treat for me to have this gentleman. Not only do is he an incredible mentor to me over the years and great someone who's been very influential in my life and business, but also somebody that I highly respect in the online marketing world, but it also somebody I consider a dear friend as well, somebody who's been there to really give me some great advice over the years and somebody I appreciate. So Mr. Ray Higdon. Thank you for coming out here, brother.

Ray Higdon
Hey, thanks for having me, man. It's been a while. Yeah,

Mark Harbert
yeah, been a while. And anytime we get the opportunity, I jump at it. So I'm excited to have you out. And I know you've got quite a story of just you know, things that have happened in your life. And I'm always excited to hear the things that are going on with you, and you know, what's going on in your business, because obviously, you've been such a great leader, for a lot of people to follow. So let's get right into it. Man, I know, our topic today is how to truly transform your life. So let's dive in.

Ray Higdon
Yeah, for sure. So, I mean, I don't want to make assumptions. And we haven't, like, done anything together in a while. So, you know, there may be people watching that don't know who I am, I don't know my story. So I'll very quickly share that. You know, I'd worked my way up in the corporate world to a pretty high-paying salary. And just realized that I just wasn't happy, and there wasn't going to be any happiness in that career. And, so I went into real estate, which did really well and dill, it didn't, and the market crash and, and I got wiped out. And so I was kind of forced into network marketing. No one was hiring me. My credit was shot, I'm broke, I went through a divorce with a foreclosure. And, I just decided I'm going to make this thing work, I'm gonna figure this thing out. And I know a lot of your people do video stuff and follow you because your video expertise. And, and so one of that's one of the things that got me out of that tough place is, is videos. And so July 15 2009, I decided I'm going to start doing a video a day. And I actually didn't miss a day until right around that same time in 2021. So like, 12 years, didn't miss a day. And, you know, in the beginning, they sucked, it sucked, engagement sucked, everything sucked. But, you know, after a period of time, you know, there was a time when I was generating 3000 leads a month without ads. And, you know, now things are actually easier than, you know, than they ever were, when you and I were getting started with Facebook reels, and Instagram reels and tick tock and YouTube shorts, like, all of those things are just amazing for getting in front of people that don't know you, and used to have to pay for that. Now. Now, you don't have to. So it's pretty sweet. And so anyway, long story short, I did make it work in that company that I joined in 2009 went on to become the number one income earner of that company, made millions with that company. Long story short, decided to start coaching and training. Just really fell in love with that concept of coaching and training others. And so that's what we've been doing full time, my wife and I, we've now been married 11 years and 11 years this year, I should say. And yeah, you know, we help a lot of people, the next kind of thing for me, so coming out of foreclosure was, you know, a battle right. And then the next battle just these last like few years, is I realized that although I was getting a lot of results, and you know, making money, getting a lot of results, speaking on a lot of stages, I really wasn't fulfilled, you know, I kept setting a new goal and I would hit that goal and it wouldn't make me feel any better. And I'd go set another goal hit another goal and what make me feel any better. And so I just kind of realized that there must be there has got to be something else out there. And a buddy of mine introduced me to Dr. Joe Dispenza. And I started you know, taking that seriously I started meditating every day, started attending some of his retreats and and kind of figured out that my workaholic ism was my coping mechanism with a lot of beliefs that I still carried from childhood of low self-worth of Um, I would have, you know, social anxiety and different things. And so, you know, one of the things Dr. Joe says Is he says, you know, to overcome yourself, you got to know yourself, and you get to know yourself through meditation and through self reflection and awareness. And, and so really been building that muscle the last couple of years. And it's one of the reasons I'm really excited that Dr. Joe is speaking at our event this year, he spoke on it last year, and, you know, blew people away, and he's speaking out of this year as well. And, and so I now understand how to transform. And, and it's really, it boils down to, you know, again, something to learn from Dr. Joe, which is your personality creates your personal reality. And your personality is how you think, how you act and how you feel. And so most people, they try to change their personal reality, what's outside of them, without changing their personality. So they wish for, you know, whatever, a bigger following more money, better relationships, or whatever, but they show up in the same way that they think act and feel their same personality. And that will never work, if you're going to change, you're going to have to change yourself, you're going to change what's out there, you're gonna have to change what's in here. And, and the reason for that is, you know, your thoughts, how you think drives, what choices you see. So if you have a thought that people are bad, or making money as hard, or I'm just going to get betrayed, like I did the last time, if, if you show up, and that's your thoughts, it's going to limit the number of choices that you see available. And so you're gonna, you're going to treat new things, just like you treated old things, you're going to see the same kind of choices that you saw in the past, you're not going to see a new choice. And so it really comes down to, you know, for you to start to change, you need to change your thoughts. And for you to change your thoughts, you need to first be aware of your thoughts is most people on autopilot. And they're not even aware of how they're showing up. They're not aware of their state of being, and they think they are their emotion. So if they get angry, they think, Oh, um, that made me angry. Well, you can observe your emotions, and you can change your emotions, if you become aware. And if you have that kind of fortitude of I want to change, and you're serious about it, then then you can

Mark Harbert
I think I saw a post from you. I don't know, it's probably a couple of months back. But one of the things that, you know, and just speaking and, you know, kind of today's social media environment, depending upon who you follow, and things, but you've made this post and you said, being able to not comment on something you disagree with is the new superpower. Yeah. And I thought, that's a great example of what you're talking about how being able to change how you are, right away, you know, like, and I agree, because there are times, you know, I'll see things and you know, that part of you, like, wants to respond, but then you're like, No, you know, and that's just one example. But my point is, is yes, I mean, if you want to change what's around you, you got to change the way you think about how you approach it. Yeah. And I love that. I think that that is such a key thing. So yeah.

Ray Higdon
So when one thing that I do that, really, I mean, it's one of my key things that I do every single morning is I do a morning journal. And so, this morning journal consists, and I've tweaked it over even just the last few weeks, but I'm now I think I'm day 84 of doing this every morning. And so every morning, I wake up, and I do a few things. But when I do the morning journal, I'm okay. You know, what, what am I thinking? And how am I feeling? You know, and I'll just put a couple, some some days, three or four lines, some days as two lines, whatever stands out. And then the next part is something that very, very few people do. And that is I write down, how do I not want to show up today? How do I not want to think act and feel? And what? And when you do that, it forces you to look at the previous record, right? It forces you to look at the day before. And so you look at the day before and you say well, how would I show up yesterday? And did I show up kind show up present? I show up loving? Did I play big? Did I you know, did I mentor? You know, someone when I when I had the opportunity? Was I loving? You know, it has you asked those kinds of questions. And, you know, or or, you know, for me sometimes it's did I overeat? You know, I mean some sometimes some days I overeat, and so it has me look at an odd If the day before, and see how I showed up, what was my state of being the day before? And what don't I want today? Yeah. And so, you know, that's, that's something most people don't do because they're on autopilot, right? They just kind of react to whatever shows up in their life. And they react the same way. And, you know, research shows us that we have 60 70,000 thoughts a day, and 90% of them are the same as the day before. And so if we have the same thoughts that drive the same choices, and actions and behaviors and experiences and emotions, then then it makes sense that we don't change. And when so, you know, when I audit? And so number two is I look at my audit the day before, how do I show up? Is there anything I need to tweak? And so far, I've found something every day. And so, you know, every single day, I haven't, I haven't nailed any day just yet. But it's not like I beat myself up, I just audit it and say, Okay, this is how we change. And I'm gonna change that today, I'm going to be a little kinder today, I'm gonna be a little more interested in others, today, I'm going to maybe be more compassionate. Alright, maybe I was I was tough on somebody. And then number three, is, how do I want to show up? What do I want to think, act and feel. And so for me, there's, there's, there's several, there's a few things that I have every single day. And that is I write down, I want to be kind, present and loving, I want to be a great mentor to my kids, I want to, you know, feel loved, be loving and be lovable, right? And so those those are, you know, just kind of things that, you know, if you asked me, you know, five years ago, it's like, make money, right? Get leads. And, and what's interesting is when you, when you show up, have the emotion of gratitude and things like that, you get that stuff. Now, you still need to work, right? It's not just meditation, but you still need to work. But it's amazing what shows up in your life, when you start to really get to the root of it, which is your thoughts that goes all the way down to your emotions. And then the fourth thing is looking at how I want to show up and you know, what I want in my life? What is the plan of action? What will I demonstrate today? How will I show up today? What What will I actually do? And so that has, you know, specific things that are correspondent with who I want to be how I want to show up. And you know, and that's a very, very powerful morning exercise. Most people, they never take the time to audit themselves. If they if they did, they would see they do roughly the same thing and have roughly the same thoughts every day. And but they expect to change. That's you trying to change what's outside of you without changing what's inside of you. And that will never work.

Mark Harbert
Yeah, that's very powerful. And you know, the biggest thing I'm hearing from your message, is really the ability to control what you think. And I think a lot of people don't realize, too, is that sometimes we can't always necessarily control a thought that pops into our head, but we can control how long it stays there.

Ray Higdon
Yes. And that's very powerful. So that's technically known as a refractory period. So a refractory period is when something happens to you like, and for most examples, when something bad happens to you, how long do you hold on to it? Yeah. And so if you hold on to it for, you know, less than a week, you know, that's, that's a mood. Right? If you hold on to it, you know, for a long period of time, it's not a personality trait. Yeah, there are people that, you know, had an argument with their parent or with, you know, whoever left them, you know, in high school or whatever. And 30 years later, they still are bruising people that never hit him. Because of that refractory period that never went away. It's literally still part of their personality. There are people that wronged them 30 years ago that they still are holding on to, and and they've, they've become addicted to that feeling of injustice, and that, that victim mentality. And, you know, the sad thing is the person that wronged them 30 years ago, forgot about it. Yeah, we remember. But you've devoted decades to this person and what they did you and they don't remember it. And so you can't, you can't necessarily control your thoughts. But you've like you said, you can you can catch them. Yeah. And so the goal isn't to have no negative thoughts ever, right? Because when you catch a negative thought, that's a victory. That's a win, right? When you catch it, it's when you don't catch it that you need some work. And the more muscle you build around that of catching of catching that emotion, you're going to slow and greatly change how often you have those negative emotions, how long they they last? And, and its effect on you. Yeah. And and so but most people don't they don't understand that they don't understand transformation they're looking for what's that strategy? What's that tactic with that book? What's that relationship? What's that? Well help me. And but the thing is you wherever you go, there you are, you have to change yourself for that outside of you to change.

Mark Harbert
You know, and I want to, I want to talk about this a little bit more, because I think you have one of the most powerful stories of forgiveness, and forgiveness, I have found, like you talked about, you know, somebody that maybe did something to you 30 years ago. And obviously, it's, it's different for everybody, it's harder for everybody. Sometimes it's easier for some harder for others. But I know the power of forgiveness in my own life. You know, there have been times where I've been wronged in a very hard way. And I had to make that conscious choice to let that go. And I know you have a very powerful story of forgiveness with your dad that you've shared publicly. So you know, Sure, I'd love for you to talk about that a little bit. Because I think that is a very powerful thing, that if people really learn the power of forgiveness, and I always say that forgiveness is not meant for the other person, it's meant for you. It's meant for you to release what you've been hanging, you know,

Ray Higdon
for sure. You know, I did, I did a video, I think just a few days ago, that's been getting some good traction, and it's, you know, an update to the golden rule. Right? We all know, the golden rule, the golden rule is, you know, do unto others as you would have them do unto you. Right. And, I would bet that the majority of people out there, it's not that they did something to someone, but it's they're carrying these negative thoughts about them. Yeah. And so how about think about others in the way that you want to actually feel? Yeah. And so I've had, I mean, just recently, I've had several people wrong me, right? If you want to call it that, you know, we had people that were in our community that, you know, for whatever reason decided, they were now anti-MLM, and, you know, bash me did YouTube's dedicated against me, and, and all kinds of stuff. You know, I have another and you're doing something right then. Yeah, and, and so I could sit there and say, Oh, I hope that they fall down a cliff or something like that. But see, that's not how energy works. That's not how emotions work is you, you can't wish that upon someone without you embodying it. And so when you hold this angst, or this resentment, or anger, guilt, or any any of that stuff, against someone, that's you embodying it, and whatever emotion you embody, is going to affect your new thoughts. And it's also if you, depending on what you subscribe to, which, you know, which I do, I believe whatever emotion you hold on to, you're going to attract more things to maintain that emotion. Yeah. And, you know, neuroscience says that we become addicted to that chemical, that chemical in that emotion, that particular emotion. So we have these these, let's say, negative thoughts. And if we believe them, if we verify them, if we, you know, put energy behind them, that goes from the neocortex to the limbic brain, which is the chemical brain that actually creates the neuro peptides that travel down your spine, hit your adrenal glands and create that emotion, that creation of that emotion, easily can become an addiction. So a lot of people the only time they feel actually alive, is when they're firing, the emotion of anger. And that's why you meet people, you're like, man, they're so full of drama. Well, they're actually addicted to that arousal, they're addicted to the feeling of that aliveness because they can't, they've, they've lost that, that memory of how to create joy of how to create fulfillment or love or, or gratitude. And so it's important, you know, when it comes to, you know, understanding gratitude or forgiveness and letting it go, you know, for yourself wish them massive abundance. Yeah, I'm which, you know, the, the people, you know, bashing me, I wish them I hope they find their purpose in life. I hope they have an amazing life. I hope they, you know, really, you know, go impact and help a lot of people I don't, I don't wish them bad and you shouldn't wish anyone bad. And so one of the things that looking back, changed my life in so many ways, was the story about my dad that you're referencing, and you know, it was you know, 2009 and I was, you know, broke. I had lost it on real estate. I was selling my furniture. I was going I went through a divorce And it was tough man, really, really tough times tough financially, you know, for sure. Tough mentally, I've got very depressed, I was drinking heavily not proud of that. And someone invites me to a three day event. And it's one of the reasons that we're so dedicated to our events is, you know, we Oh, every year, we run our event, which is next month, every year, we have people completely changed their lives, and they send us letters, they send us emails, and you know, it's, that's what changed my life and three, a three day event. And so I go to the three day event, and I'm thinking, oh, man, I need to go. And hopefully, I learned how to make some money, because that's what I need. And what I what I got out of it, the big thing was that I had repair relationship on a to do list with no priority. You know, I hadn't talked to my dad at that point. I don't think I talked to him in 13 years or something like that. I hadn't seen him. He had never met his, you know, my sons, my grandsons, who were maybe 1011 At the time, something like that. And I asked myself this question, and I think this is an important question for for people. If he died, without me reaching out what I feel bad? And the answer is, yes, I would not have felt good. And now some people, you know, someone wronged you so much, that you don't want a relationship with them. And if they died, you know, it wouldn't be that big of a deal. So, okay, fine, for I would forgive them just for your sake. Right. And like you said, I would forgive them, but maybe you don't reach out to him. Right? Well, that's up to you, I would not have felt good if he passed away. And I didn't at least attempt. And so I reach out on day two of that seminar, and tell them hey, you know, I'd love for you to meet your grandsons, I'd love to come see you. You know, and I know we have a rough pass. And I could, if I shared my past, I would have 100% agreement of people saying, well, yeah, I wouldn't, I wouldn't have relationship with him either. And, you know, there's a lot of things he didn't do, right? As a dad, in when I was a kid. And so I go up there, and it was I happen, I went up there on his birthday, right around his birthday, Fourth of July. And, and so, you know, we created a relationship, it's something it's still not perfect and ever was. But it's something where it was nothing. And, and I came back, and it was within a week of being back that I found that company got introduced to that company that I went on to become the number one income earner have changed my life. And so that's kind of, you know, the first, you know, slice of that story of, oh, great, you know, forgiveness led me to financial abundance. And, and, and, you know, that's awesome, but actually led me to something else, too. The first time I ever shared that story. I was in Myrtle Beach. And, you know, I just I'd never shared it. You know, at that time, I wasn't, I wasn't really vulnerable. I was the hotshot, you know, like, I'm big man. Right? So I only talked about my accolades didn't didn't share any emotional stuff. Because, you know, no need to do that. And something just really called on my heart to talk about my dad and talk about my story. And so, you know, I shared it at the event, we did our opportunity meeting, then afterwards, I did a training and, you know, shared it. And so after I finished, the guy that had invited me to the meeting, Kenneth, he's walking down the aisle of, you know, with all the chairs walking down the aisle, the hotel, just crying, man. I mean, just crying big time. I'm like, wow, you know, that that really, you know, hit your heart. Hmm. And he said, I said, I just, I just can't believe you just share that story. I haven't talked to my dad and 17 years. And tomorrow, I flat first funeral was like, Whoa, like, you know, just to getting the call to share that story. never shared it before. Like, oh, and, and that, that did something to me that that made me realize, you know, because Kenneth was doing well in his business, right. That's why I was up there. And it actually looking back, that gave me a much different perspective and understanding that I need to be more vulnerable, I need to share some of the things that I've overcome that may not be so sexy. And and so that really changed me as a person and looking back I've, it helped me develop three, my three mantras and so my three mantras are, number one, help the person you used to be and that's different for every person, right? So, you know, if you've lost 10 pounds, but You still got 100 to go, well help the person used to be helped, the person needs to lose 10 pounds, you know, help the person that's needs to help with their journey. If you're someone that overcame, you know, physical abuse, sexual abuse, whatever kind of trauma, then always know, there are people out there that are really struggling. You know, most people I saw graphic on this, I can't remember the percentage, but it was it was, it was a sad percentage of people that have been through trauma end up as suicides. And you know, you don't know, if you being courageous on a video and being vulnerable, couldn't be saving a life or many lives, you don't know. And so my first mantras helped the person who used to be my second mantra, which keeps me on task, when I'm, when I'm moving into the unknown, that may be scaring me. And that is we have to be as brave as the people who need us. And so there are people out there that need your story. And they're, they're only going to relate, they may not relate with my story, but they'll relate with your story. And so you need to, you know, show up when the going gets tough, that means that you're, you know, there are people out there that need to hear your story. And number three, and I think you appreciate this is let me be, let me never be too busy saving strangers to neglect my own. And that one was was big for me. Because since I didn't have a great example, as a dad, I honestly, I wasn't sure how to how to show up as a dad to my kids, and I got four now, you know, I got you know, 2524, six, and three. And so you know that, that mantra, these all three of these mantras are reminders of how I want to show up in the world, and how I want to make a difference and what's meaningful to me.

Mark Harbert
Yeah, you know, as you're talking, one of the things that I was thinking about, and, you know, obviously, you know, people like myself, and many people respect you for being the leader that you are in the space. But what I think if you want my honest opinion, what has truly made you somebody who's, you know, been something that people can relate to, is your vulnerability, because you do put that out there. And that's what people relate to. And I think a lot of people miss the opportunities to be vulnerable. And I think a lot of people are, and this is where, you know, when I start talking about video, you know, one of the things I tell people is that if, if you're putting yourself out there, you got to be willing to take the hits, because you're gonna get some, you're gonna be people that don't like what you say, to people that got something to bitch about, there's gonna be people that got something, you know, one little nugget, you say they disagree, and they throw out the 99% that they do agree with, because they disagree with you on that one little thing. And, but I really believe that's what's made you such a, you know, a relatable person as you do, you have shared your struggles openly, and people can relate to that. Because no matter what level of success you get to, you're always gonna, we're on a journey. Like, it's not like you ever reach that pinnacle of like, euphoria that, you know, where it's just you never have to work on anything again.

Ray Higdon
Yeah, and it's, you know, and just know that, you know, I really understand, you know, the Tony Robbins, quote, of success without fulfillment as the ultimate failure. You know, I've coached, you know, the most wealthiest, I guess, client I had, he was bringing home $20 million dollars a month, and not in network marketing outside of it. And, but he was really struggling with being a parent, he was really struggling with his relationship with his wife, and wasn't happy. And, and so, you know, they're, you know, if you think and this is, this is what a lot of people think, if only I had more money, then I'd be happier. And then you get there. And then you realize, oh, there are people making more money than that, oh, I need to oh, I need to keep up with with her, Oh, I need to keep up with him. And so it's a never ending if money is the pursuit, and believe me, I think you should be abundant. I think you should have plenty of money. But if that's the pursuit, and you're thinking, that's the thing that will make you feel better about yourself, you're wrong. It's not there. They're incompatible. It's like, you know, if you want to plant a bunch of trees, and you start collecting guitars, not compatible, you can have a million guitars, no trees are being built, right. It's it's not happening and then no trees are being planted. And so but with when you when you're broke, you know, it's easy to think that if only but once you get there, it's like, oh, I need another level. Well, this isn't enough. I need another level. Yeah. And so

Mark Harbert
it sounds like an addiction. Yeah,

Ray Higdon
I mean it is that you, it's you it's there's there's a lot of, of people that have had plenty of money. And again, this is not a bash against money. Sure, action against thinking that something outside of you is going to make you happy. You need to be happy with yourself. And so that you can be placed in any in any situation and, and still maintain your happiness still maintain control over your emotions, thoughts and feelings.

Mark Harbert
Yeah. Yeah, it's some amazing stuff, man. I love your perspective on it. And, you know, as somebody who's, you know, done a lot of the self development and things like that, I think it's amazing. So what I do want to do is I want to talk a little bit about rainmakers live, I am super excited about this. We were just talking before we came on, I don't think I've actually been able to give you a big bro hug in about two and a half, three years. So I'm stoked to go down. And

Ray Higdon
it's probably been longer than that, hasn't it? I mean, when a little while, man,

Mark Harbert
like pre-COVID No doubt. Yeah. But I'm excited to come down. And so let's talk about rank makers live a little bit.

Ray Higdon
Yeah. So to me, this is we've crafted the perfect blend, and, you know, the perfect blend of step by step, transformation in mindset with step by step, strategy and tactic. And so we have, you know, people like Dr. Joe Dispenza, you know, he's, he's speaking and, and he is just, like, some people say, Oh, is it all about mindset? Well, there's, there's a difference between motivation, and step by step mindset. So like, what we do is we do step by step mindset. Right? And, you know, and Dr. Joe brings the neuroscience concepts for change. And, you know, what, they've researched what they've proven what he's, you know, shown of how to transform your life. So, we have people like Dr. Joe, then then we have, you know, very different we have Russell Brunson, right, we have stormy Wellington, and these are, you know, absolute rock stars at execution and making it happen. You know, we have, you know, people like Justin Prince, you know, eight figure a year earner in network marketing, people like Jenna's Wagle, another eight-figure a year, plus, you know, earner. And, and so we're really excited. What I've learned over the years is two things that I've learned that that is maybe contrary to how I used to teach, I used to think that, you know, people needed, you know, strategies and tactics. And if we just give them good strategy and tactics, they'll get results. And the truth is, the time has proven That's incorrect. You can't, if you're not consistent, which is what most people struggle with, then you can have access to the greatest strategies and tactics on the planet, but you just won't do them long enough for him to actually work. And so that's number one. And number two, and this is where it gets a little bit even tougher, is I've now I now understand, I used to think, hey, with enough action, you're gonna make it happen, you're gonna you're gonna get results, right. And I've just found too many people that prospect 3040 50 people a day too many people that do three to four videos a day, that don't get much results. And in that boils down to their perspective, that boils down to their mindset that boils down to, will always verify what we believe to be true. Yeah. And so if we believe making money is hard, if we believe that, you know, people just aren't buying my thing, after COVID, right, or whatever, whatever the belief that they're holding, and a belief is just a repeated thought, then that's has to be proven to you. And you know, this morning, I was coaching a lady. And she said, I have this very specific block around prospecting people. And I just, I just, it's this very specific thing, and I can do other things, but I get this man. And I told her, as long as you keep describing it in that way, you have to have it, you have to, and and so you can't describe something in such detail and intricacy, and then it just change, right, you have to change the way you describe it. So there, there are tools, there are step by step mindset strategies that will help you improve your mindset so that you do become more consistent so that you do squeeze the most out of those great strategies and tactics. And so we see this as the perfect blend of you have we have some incredible mindset trainers. You know, step by step, we have neuroscience, and we have the strategies and tactics of what's working right now. And, and I know we have all this, I think I believe the majority We have the speakers on the page now. And, and yeah, we'd love to see it. We do have some in person tickets left. But it's October 27 to 29th in Orlando, Florida. I know, Mark, you're coming down, you're going to do a training for those in person, which is, which is so huge on what's working now with YouTube. And so yeah, we're excited.

Mark Harbert
Yeah, yeah. And that's, that's what I, you know, and seeing, you know, this rank makers compared to some of the last, I kind of noticed that you're coming at this from a different angle, it's working on the mindset and the strategy, because you've got both of them in there. And I agree, I think that that is such a important program it with my own programs that I work with people on, it's a two, it's a two fold thing, you got to be working on you. Because all the strategy in the world, you can pump it all in your head over and over and over again. But without the right attitude behind it, none of it's going to work. And I know, for me, if I still thought the way I did 10 years ago, 12 years ago, I'd be in you know, I wouldn't be doing very well, you know, but it really is, it's a constant, just improving yourself. And it's like, kind of like what we said at the beginning. It's, it's a journey, like, you know, it's a journey to do that. And if you keep exposing yourself, and events like this are the perfect example and perfect time to do that. Yeah. So I definitely encourage everybody to, you know, get a ticket, if you can get there live, go. Like, I'm jonesing to be there. Like, I can't wait, man, I'm so excited. You know, it's been a while since I've been to an event. So yeah,

Ray Higdon
I've had, I've had the pleasure of speaking at quite a few events here recently, because they're really, you know, picking up fact, this week, I'm speaking in Cincinnati. And so I've seen the people, you know, at these events just be so grateful to be in person, and so grateful to actually see other people and be back networking and hanging out and you know, you know, chatting at the lobby bar or whatever. And, and so I just know that, you know, it's such a good time for it. And so, yeah, it's gonna be awesome. And we got some really, really cool stuff. We're doing a costume contest, night one. We're doing a big fundraiser for Dr. Joe and his research, and we'll have a lot of gifts and prizes that we give out throughout. So it's gonna be really, really cool.

Mark Harbert
Are you going to make the breakout the pimp costume again, I remember?

Ray Higdon
Thinking it's time. Time,

Mark Harbert
we had that mastermind back in 2015. And that was the only content there's only costume I could find. And

Ray Higdon
it may not fit you now, now that you've lost so much weight.

Mark Harbert
I know. Right? I think it's funny. Because every once in a while that pops back up in my timeline. I'm like, yeah, good time. So I'm super excited about it. Guys. I definitely get out there. Check it out. I'd love to hang with you, too. You know, I'm gonna be there the whole time. So come on out.

Ray Higdon
You've been to our events. I don't hide behind the velvet ropes. I mean, I come out, I sign books, I take pictures, I hang out with people, you know, so I'm not, you know, I'm not the diva. I like I like, you know, spend time with people.

Mark Harbert
Ya know, I mean, I've been to several of your events, and they're always epic man. You, you always take them to a new level. And I know this one's gonna be, you know, the same thing. So I'm definitely excited. So for sure. I can't tell you enough, man. How much I love you, brother. And I appreciate you coming out and spending time here with these guys. And do you have just a second to maybe answer a few questions that people? Yeah, cuz I remember last time I had you out. I told people Hey, come on out. You'll have a little q&a afterwards. We cut it and I've totally forgotten. Hey, I want some questions. So if you guys have some questions, go ahead and, and pop them in there. And, you know, we'll we won't keep Ray long but and Okay, so here's a question from Chris, let me pop this off here. And I'm gonna put this on the screen. I think you'll probably be able to see this as the last two years. Not done nothing much with online business. I'm struggling to get back into there. And your experience, your experience to get back how in your experience, how to get back on the horse. What he's asking.

Ray Higdon
I mean, the number one thing you need to hear is Don't overthink it. No one is sitting around saying I can't believe Chris isn't building his business. Hmm. Do you know Chris isn't milling his business? You believe this guy? It's been like two years, right? No one is sitting around talking about it. No one is noticing. And so it's just not overthinking. You don't have to do some big campaign where it's like, Alright, I'm back guys. They're like, Where'd you go? Were you went somewhere, right? Like no one's paying attention, right? They got their own stuff. You know, they're chasing kids doing laundry. They're, they're doing their own issues and So just just don't overthink it. And it's, you know, why is it important for you to be doing that? Is it? Why is it important for you to be building a business, whatever that looks like to you, you know, that know that you need to know that. And then, you know, from there, it's just like, okay, you know, how do I want to show up? And, and, you know, what is it? You know, why am I doing this thing? What do I why? How do I want to show up? And and you get to work and you don't overthink it? You know what to do? Most people don't, they're not confused by what to do. They just create, you know, different camouflages around why they won't do it. But you know, you start, you know, creating marketing videos, you start reaching out to people in perfectly, and you get in that groove, and you get better and you improve.

Mark Harbert
Yeah, and you know, there's one thing I've noticed, too, that you always have momentum, it's just which way is it going? Yeah. And sometimes I found, you know, when you're not doing the things that you need to you feel in this kind of down momentum, and you're like, Well, I haven't done anything in the last three weeks, you know, and it's kind of hard to jolt that back. But what I found, once you start doing it, just start smacking out the videos or doing what you need to do, the momentum starts building again. So you're going one way or the other, you just need to make that conscious choice to come back. So

Ray Higdon
if you if you think about it, I mean, that's 100% congruent with what I mentioned earlier, right? You're 90% of your thoughts are the same as the day before. And so you know, if you're, you've been thinking that's not a big deal, I'll just do it tomorrow, and everything's in the future, then, you know, you'll never do anything. And so you really do have, it takes a work, it takes an exertion of energy for you to break that pattern, and it does get get easier.

Mark Harbert
So this is a I don't, I can't see who this is, because they're probably in one of my groups, which we're streaming this too. But they say when people hold on to anger for long enough, it begins to define them, letting that go becomes more and more scary. So what would you say to that? Right?

Ray Higdon
Yeah, it's, it's one it's true. It's definitely true. Because we become addicted to the chemical that's fired when we think about the injustice. And here's, here's the, you know, the biggest issue with that is, we've it's been proven over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over, that the brain doesn't know the difference between the thought about an event and the actual event. Okay, no difference. So they did this study on, they call it the piano player study. And by the way, Eddie V, what's up, and so they did this study on around the piano. And so they had will just focus in on the two groups, they had four groups that they came in, and taught them very basics of piano. And group number one, they had go home, provided them with a piano, had them practice for 15 minutes a day, every day, and come back and they retested them. The second group, they had go home said Do not touch a piano. But we want you to practice in your mind for 15 minutes a day. Alright, so you can't touch a piano, but you practice in your mind. And so the one that touch the piano, and practice on a piano every day improved by like, I think it was 23% or something like that. The one that practice didn't touch a piano improved by over 20%. And so the brain mappings looked almost identical. And the improvement was almost identical. And so why is that important to this? Well, if you're reliving like, imagine someone that, you know, years ago, was physically abused, right? I was I know, you know, it's probably the majority of people, right? It's probably a higher percentage of people that were abused and not abused. And but but imagine someone who was abused every day for decades. How would that person show up in the world? And see, the abuse only had to happen one time, if you're thinking about it every day. But how would how just how would the thoughts be impacted? If someone you know, thought, which the brain doesn't know the difference between a thought and the actual event? If someone was actually abused every single day in their mind? How would they show up or they would be scared of people? They would you know what they would expect people that hurt them, they'd be like that hurt dog, right? That the dog that you rescue that stays in the corner is terrified of you and you have to really feed it and nurture and everything for for it to get better. And so it's true. You know, you do become addicted to your personality, and you become addicted to how you think act and feel. But the hope the reality is you can change that and the The way you know, you're not your thoughts, actions and feelings, because you can observe them. You can observe, you know, you can observe what you are, you can observe this these traits that you're currently embodying. And with observation, you can make change.

Mark Harbert
Yeah. That's, it's incredibly powerful man, I really, you know, I mean, even, you know, the more I learned about myself, and you know, just learning about how you truly can control where which direction you're going in, everybody has that that control, you know, and I think that that's a, you know, definitely a big deal. So, we got two more questions, and then we'll, we'll let you go here. I know, you're a busy guy. So I do have a book coming out called defiance.

Ray Higdon
We do. I mean, it's a so our theme of the event is be defiant. And you know, when despite your obstacles, and but the book, it's still a ways out, it's still a ways out.

Mark Harbert
Now, here's the question, share one nugget from the book common. You have one,

Ray Higdon
I mean, you want so a concept from the book is to build up your defiance points. Okay. So every day try to build up your defiance points. So if you know that cold showers are good for you, but you don't want to do them. If you do the cold shower, that's a point. If you have a tendency to over eat, and you leave that last slice of pizza, that's a point. Right? And, and so if your spouse, you know, does something to push your buttons, and you resist your normal reaction. That's a point. And so it's see some people are wishing for this pristine environment, and then they'll be better now, and the problem is your environment is going to change. So like some diet gurus, they'll say remove everything out of your house that could possibly tempt you, which is great, as long as you're quarantined. Yeah, right? The minute you go to your neighbors for the Superbowl party, and they got buffalo dip, and they got chips, and they got pizza, and they got wings, and they got, you know, your life. Right. So I would rather you keep all the crap in your house, but be defiant, you know, see, see that that chocolate chip cookie with the whipped cream on it and not eat it? That's a point. And so defiance. One thing that's very powerful about Defiance is when you become you know, defiant to your own kind of, you know, machine right to your own programs. You'll ask you'll, you'll determine what else can I do? Yeah, you'll start asking that question. Wow, I did that thing. What else can I do? Yeah. And so you start, you start pushing the envelope of going into the unknown of, maybe I can learn ballroom dancing, well, maybe I can go skydiving, well, maybe I can, you know, do this. And and so it's such a confidence boost. When you're defiant, either good or bad. Either go into the gym when you don't feel like it or not eat in that last slice of pizza. And so that's one of the concepts from the book.

Mark Harbert
That's awesome. And, you know, you just saying that, like, you know, I've been on this, you know, health journey as well. But I mean, literally, this was the conscious time we made the decision, we're not going to clean out our cupboards, what we're going to do is we're going to eat what we got, and we're just not going to buy anymore. So we slowly made this transition out, and we've been doing awesome. It was it was just another way to kind of, I guess be defiant about it. But it was like, a not gonna go through the covers and throw everything out like everybody, you know, every day says, but I love that. So last question here. And I think it's a great one to end with. And Brian says, Let me he says, Ray, what is your driving force? You may have already said it, but what is your driving force?

Ray Higdon
I mean, it's the The hint is in my mantras. So it's impact. You know, I'm, you know, I was sent to this life to make an impact. And you know, that's that was my purpose that was stamped on me whenever and, and so, you know, help the person I used to be for me, that's a lot of people. People have been through abuse and trauma, people who've been dead broke people who've had self worth issues, people who've been workaholics not fulfilled. And so there's a lot of categories of people that that I can help, you know, be as brave as the people who need us. That's, you know, that's just putting myself in the shoes of the 10s of millions of people that need the information that's on this live right here. This live right here could change a life. And but how many millions of people aren't, you know, don't have access to this? Or, you know, we'll never find this right? And then, you know, let me never be too busy saving strangers to neglect my own is, you know, how do I not show up as some international guru mentor, but not be that toward my own toward my own kids. And so that's been, you know, a challenge a challenge to me. And it's been, you know, powerful to step into that state of being.

Mark Harbert
Well, I will tell you, I saw you had commented on one of your old videos today, and it was you about dancing, getting out there and dancing, and you were bad at it. And I started thinking, Boy, I don't know, maybe I should go get some dancing lessons with my wife. She probably did that.

Ray Higdon
She would Yeah. Most most women would

Mark Harbert
know, she was inspiring me, bro.

Ray Higdon
Yeah, man. Well, I appreciate you. We're excited to have you out there. And obviously, the link is on the on the screen. If you want to grab your ticket we have, you know, for our speakers, you know, we gave you guys some really attractive options. I mean, they're kind of silly, to be honest. And so we do have a virtual ticket. Or you can you know, while while they're space, you can come in person. And you got you got a couple really, really attractive options there. So make sure you check those out.

Mark Harbert
Absolutely, guys, get over to Mark harbert.com/rm Live. That's rainmakers live and be a great time, man. Well, Ray, thank you so much, Brother, you're sure love you, man. And thanks so much for always bringing the value and you know, having the impact that you do.

Ray Higdon
Yeah, man. Thanks so much, man. You too and I'm excited to see you.

Mark Harbert
Yeah, thanks, guys for coming out. And if you got some value from this tag, somebody, share it with them, send it over in Messenger and helped get the word out. All right. Have a great day, guys. Right

I hope you enjoyed this interview and got value from it. If you did leave me a comment and let me know below.

You rock,

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